Depression Recovery

Anne* expressed in our first session together tearfully how depressed she was feeling. She explained that most days she is sleeping even though she plans to get up when her alarm goes off, she just can’t get out of bed.

She describes the feelings of hopelessness and despair, sharing that she sometimes feels so numb. It’s like she is a zombie, but other times the depression is so heavy she cries for hours.

She expresses her deep desire to really be something in life and find a way to help others, too. She feels stuck.

During the first few sessions, we spent time together really understanding what Anne’s depression looked like for her and how she wanted to be living differently.

We began exploring what kept her stuck and learned two vital pieces contributing to the depression: perfectionism and her family experience growing up.

It turned out that perfectionism got Anne all bound up because there was so much fear around failing. There was the gnawing expectation that she should already have “arrived” and be the person who she imagined herself to be. The shame and fear of failure were swallowing her up.

We also learned that in the family she grew up in, criticism, shame, and fear were used by her parents to motivate her. They would say things like, “if you don’t help your siblings, then God won’t love you,” and “B’s are for losers; people in our family only make A’s.”

As a result, she was trying to use these strategies to keep herself motivated. Instead, they were causing her to feel worse about herself and less motivated.

Over time, Anne began to practice new ways of talking to herself using self-compassion, kindness, and understanding. Little by little, she began to feel hope and was gaining momentum.

Anne began to share in session that she was finding herself smiling again and even started to reach out to friends to get coffee or go to yoga. She also learned the importance of implementing an exercise and sleep routine, enacting all of the good mood-boosting chemicals in her brain.

Anne learned some significant things about what was keeping her stuck, but she also learned practical tools like setting a realistic and achievable goal and setting even smaller goals to achieve it.

One of Anne’s main goals was to find a meaningful and impactful career. She began volunteering and trying on different professions until she settled on wanting to become a physical therapist. A year after she began therapy, Anne was accepted on a full scholarship to a well-known university in the area to begin their doctoral program.

Anne still comes back now and then for a tune-up. At times, she will find herself falling back into old habits, but she quickly recognizes the old patterns and keeps moving forward. She is thriving in school and life.